IJustine - Vampire Rap! (Love The Way You Lie Spoof)

Just gonna watch some TV shows
Like True Blood or Vampire Diaries
Just can't get off these vampire shows
They're so good because they just never die
They just never die

You might think that a vampire
In the sun will light on fire
But not if you're a buyer
Of books by
Stephanie Meyer
This might
give you a startle
In Twilight
the sun makes Edward sparkle
When he's undressed
There's glitter on his chest
Which is kind of a pest
So he's lives where it's cloudy
In the pacific northwest

He has the same expression
In every single scene though
Like he's about to cry
Cause he's feeling so emo

Somebody climbin in yo windows
Tryin to rape you late at night?
Probably Edward from Twilight
He's such a creep
He loves to watch Bella sleep

[cut in Justine "you are so dumb" bit here?]

Each night after dark
Edward snatchin people up in lincoln park
So hide yo kids hide yo wife
You got a wooden knife?
time to do some staking
Charlie bit my finger
Young vampire in the making

I also watch a show
on HBO
About supernatural races
And all I want know
when's sookie
gonna get some braces?

On True Blood vampire blood is called V
a drop your tongue will cause you see
Hallucinations
Could also give you youtube fame though
If it causes you to see a double rainbow

[cut in justine double rainbow impression?]

Of the major
vampire slayers
Van Helsing is the most valuable player
But he
not as hot as Buffy
And he don't have shades
So he's not as cool as Blade

Most vampires can run fast
But one doesn't have feet
It's The Count from Sesame Street

Every vampire has a weakness
a way you can defeat it
Like Count Chocula
You can just eat it